Marriage Humour

Wife:         'What are you doing?'  
Husband:     Nothing.
Wife:         'Nothing...?  You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband:     'I was looking for the expiry date.'  
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Wife :       'Do you want dinner?'  
Husband:      'Sure! What are my choices?'  
Wife:         'Yes or no.' 

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Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet.. Why?'
Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'  
Wife:  'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'
Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'  
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Son:      'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'  
Mom:   'Well, you have done the right thing.'  
Son:      'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'   

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A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'  
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humour!'